ChangesI hate changes, or more specifically, I hate being out of my comfort zone. It's a miracle (and blessing) I like to travel.
This past 1-2 years has been so full of changes I am still struggling to catch up. I've changed jobs again (yay). I honestly thought 2015 was shitty but 2016 turned out worse (not because of the world news I am not that far sighted).
I lost a friend who died by suicide. And I feel so selfish (because really, it's for my comfort) saying this but I miss her so much. We started work at my previous company on the same day, and I saw her, this young looking girl also at the office, and I remember saying to myself "Omg is she also a designer? I must do better than her." But nah she turned out to be in the marketing team and also one of the best colleagues ever.
The year before I lost an acquaintance, also to suicide. We weren't close but we saw each other a few times after graduating, mostly at parties. His funeral was the 4th I'd attended in the span of 6 months.
Aunt, grandfather, friend's father, friend, friend's father, friend's father, friend's brother, friend, friend's grandfather, neighbour. 10 in total. May the number stop increasing. I'm not sure I can take it.
I lost a few other friends because I think it was bound to happen at some time but I found out about 1 person's shitty behaviour and it was the last straw so I (we?) cut them off first. We had some good times. But good times don't last. Sometimes it feels like I wasn't as important to them as they were to me but I guess it's unfair to compare like this, 'my expectations of them based on my experiences' vs real life.
All I can say is oh well. Life goes on.
2017 give chance please.
I should add on, I have been finally invited to a wedding, a baby's full month celebration and another baby's 1st birthday. Hooray finally!!! My first wedding and baby's full month. Gotta think positive.
Wanted to write more but I knocked out so here I am. Again.
I recently realised that I do have a favourite colour or a colour I am biased towards (green) and the type of things I watch and read in the same period of time always have the same theme (currently Murakami for books and sci-fi for tv).
Thanks to Livia's recommendation I read my first Murakami novel Kafka on the Shore and devoured it during my Busan trip. After reading 2 more of his novels, Norwegian Wood and Sputnik Sweetheart and several short stories, I read Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage. I think my favourite is Kafka, but it's mostly because of the cats. The other 3 books sort of mesh into each other because the themes (loneliness, sense of self, loss) and even the main character was so similar sometimes I have trouble separating them from each other (maybe I shouldn't have read all of them at the same time).
I'm not sick of it yet. I have found a comfortable reading zone in Murakami books and I'm so glad I didn't read his books earlier because it wouldn't have resonated with me as much, especially Norwegian Wood.
As always, reading opened up a whole new world for me and I find out about so many things that are new to me and I'm so happy I decided to start reading again. Thank you Murakami for helping to rekindle this reading habit with your sometimes weird af but relatable stories.
"Ah! Böwakawa poussé, poussé."
New job!Erm sad to say I have not touched anything on my to-do list in FREAKING MAY LOL. And I need to add on or maybe I shouldn't if not I won't do it lol. Erm nothing much just wanted to say I changed jobs (Aug 3) and I have my own office.
J/k it's a temp seat until they get my seat fixed or something... This is actually a small meeting room that is connected to my boss's office (door on the right side, out of pic).
Anyway that's all. Bye.